taking flight into art, love, and life (the blog)

Saturday, February 24, 2007

spill wide

when i first met my husband 8 years ago, i was working as a medical social worker on an infectious disease unit at a large hospital. i was meeting patients who were learning of their HIV positive status for the first time, running support groups, connecting them with resources, agencies, medications. it was a very intense job, and i loved it. but even with the joy that came with the idea of being in a helping profession, it still weighed heavy on my heart. i was learning in that year in particular how to set boundaries, to leave work on time, and to leave the anxiety, the questions, and the heartbreak at the job. in the midst of all of that learning, i met john. as we fell in love, my heart and my mind were consumed with the potential and the possibility of our relationship, and i was released of the burdens i was holding close. i have very clear memories of walking the halls of that hospital, responding to the latest emergency, but not having that feeling of dread, but instead having the feeling of "i have found love and all of this doesn't feel so heavy anymore." i was inspired by it (love) and it gave me a greater sense of appreciation and perspective. i felt light and joyful, even with all the confusion and pain that came with my profession. i like to think i was a better practitioner (and person) because of it.

the same thing happened when i discovered art. the feeling of inspiration gave me perspective, clarity, and the feeling of lightness. the cluttered house doesn't make me cringe as much anymore. i know what i want to be when i grow up, so to speak. it's ok when my social work job is tough - i have a nice balance between it and making art. i had a phone conversation with a friend today about her personal unearthing of the thing that is bringing her love and inspiration and i couldn't be happier for her. these things, these findings, are life changing, as simple as they may be. passion is everything.

"kelly rae, spill wide" was written to me by SWH recently on a piece of art i bought from her, and today, this weekend, i am trying my best to do just that: spill wide. i'm working on a project with possibility. it may take me in a new direction, it may not. but the journey of putting it together is what's important to me. i want to spill my heart and joy and senses into it and see what happens. isn't this what it's all about?

12 comments:

Tonia said...

If not for that, what else is there? This goes along with the old adage, "enjoy the journey--it's not about the destination." Cheers, Tonia

Nic Hohn said...

Thats when the best, best creations happen....enjoy!

Stacey said...

Indeed it is. : )

britt said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
britt said...

aw that is so beautiful! thank you for writing about falling in love - isn't it the most amazing thing?

lisa a said...

Spill wide my friend! I will see you at then end of the week!

kelly said...

go get em' girly....the world is wide open and ready for you to spill!

Christina said...

Awesome! And you're so right--being in love and creating art--I think they both touch on the same fundamental aspect of spirit.

Roxanna said...

...passion, falling and finding love...balance. Yes! Life and art are beautiful...and once again I will be "looking up."

Boho Girl said...

brave, open wide spilling...

yes.

i feel your passion, girl. also, the image of you walking around the hospital with joy because of your love with john put a huge smile on my face. now that i've met you both and seen you together, i can totally see you both shifting into this happy place in your life together.

so cool.

Swirly said...

I love the story of how you and John met, and I think you say something very important - about letting your entire self be wide open, vulnerable and exposed. Beautiful.

Erin said...

I can relate to this post in so many ways- the social work, the art, the journey... thank you for sharing.





circles