taking flight into art, love, and life (the blog)
Thursday, January 24, 2008
it's funny how one day i'm creating an affirmation painting (this one made for an upcoming project), and the next day i find myself on the edge of having the blues. i haven't felt much like doing anything this week - except abandoning the to-do list all together and eating and watching tv. do you ever have weeks like this where you just feel blah?
i've barely been in the studio since before the holidays and i'm aching to get in there and get my hands messy and wet with paint color. i have visions of new girls, new hair, new ideas. out with the old and in with the new. i'm ready for a bit of a change. yep. but inside the depth of that change, i'm just hanging out. not much production going on this week. and what i find fascinating is the self-imposed guilt i have about it. about not being productive. about not painting. about not sticking to my goals. and on and on.
i was never a girl who carried much guilt - especially when it's an external source/person imposing the guilt. but this guilt i'm feeling is completely internal and irrational, too. it's unfamiliar territory and i'm learning what a pesky little bugger it can be. guilt. shame. perfectionism. it all streams together and i don't like it at all. there's nothing worse than feeling like you've disappointed yourself and in turn disappointed those around you. i keep asking for reassurance from john about it. and this is driving both of us nuts.
we're all just people, i suppose. figuring it out. breathing in the daily trials and joys and lessons and heartbreak and triumphs. in my wanderings this week on the internet, i found this lovely woman (who is helping me spread some very cool kindness in the coming weeks) and her new project that has me all sorts of inspired. i also found this portlander (via friend mati rose) whose lists and portland mentions are making me happy. and jen lemen - oh how i want to meet this woman. i'm just going to put it out there. yep.
ps - thank you for celebrating with me in my last post (sincerely)... feels joyous to be able to announce big plans and dreams and even worries in this space and for it all to be received inside the arms of grace and community.
When I finally put paint onto paper, my heart + life exploded with renewed passion and joy.Read more about my story.
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my journey (in chronological order from 2006 - 2009 ) into the creative life
- the whispers of inspiration
- the beginning
- feeling my heart lift
- first attempt at girlie painting
- humble beginnings
- i've come a long way since this
- when everything changed
- finding my style
- a review of that first year
- deciding to take the leap
- selling my first item on etsy
- beginning to build a business
- launching my website
- learning to be fearless
- still working out my style
- up up and away
- my first showing
- first gallery opening
- spilling myself into a book proposal
- book proposal accepted!
- the gremlins
- a more cohesive style emerges
- working on book projects
- published in a magazine for the first time
- a trip to ohio to meet with book publisher
- quitting my day job
- where i wrote the book
- embracing my vulnerabilities
- showing at a big san fran art festival
- licensing for the first time
- on guilt + the blues
- becoming a possibilitarian
- figuring out wholeness
- on becoming
- on saying no
- on magic + beginnings
- on anxiety
- finally seeing myself
- finding my community
- book is released
- teaching for the first time
- thoughts on riding the wave
- teaching in italy
- new studio space in seattle
- creative style turning point
- pretending until we're not
- new affirmation paintings emerge
- hired an assistant
- first keynote
- national product (home + gift) line debuts with DEMDACO
- new gift line debuts with demdaco
- love is the only thing that matters
- brand new website debuts
- first ever calendars + datebooks debut!
- feeling the pressure of it all
- on getting lovebombed (again)
- figuring out how to take care of myself
- on wanting to pinch myself
- on giving my medicine to the world
- some thoughts after three years of all of this
- on expanding my biz vision after a trip to kansas
- telling the truth about hard days
- on creative expansiveness
- on staying true in biz
- 2009 year in review
The Creative/biz journey continues in chronological order (2010 - present)
atlanta gift show part two!
on being brave
decorative art girlies arrive!
cover of somerset studio magazine!
it's about capacity + connection
announced my first e-course!
got an agent and a logo!
attending surtex in nyc for the first time!
why writing a letter to myself worked magic
on what it's like to run an ecourse
expanding our personal horizons
ranking #1 in gift beat's wall art category!
on inviting abundance of all kinds
decided not to play small
ranked #1 in gftbeat's inspirational category!
two year book anniversary
hired a portland asst!
babies make their appearance in my work!
new gift products are introduced
on missing my beginner artist self
featured in 10 pg national mag
traveled to China to see where products are made
announced new home decor line!
home decor line launches
celebrated 5 years of this life
greeting cards launched
moved oinline shop out of my house
launched hello soul, hello business
savoring vs dreaming
made a huge decision about online shop