in the breathing spaces just before falling asleep last nite, i had a gentle wash of emotion spill from me - a touching down into the root of a perspective so pure it made me cry.like so many us, i casually go about my life doing what i do: tending to my creative business, answering emails, meeting deadlines, packaging orders, hanging out with my husband/friends/dog, painting when i'm inspired, and on and on. in the mix of all of that (life), i sometimes see myself and my life a bit abstractly, not quite holding close all that i have, all that i am, and all that i've done. so last nite, in a space of complete exhaustion (it's been a crazy week), my conscious let all the layers disappear and there i was in clear and close vision: a girl living her dreams. doing it. actually doing it. living a life, however hectic it may be, with deep + wide joyful knowing that it's the life she's always wanted. there i am again, with a husband who wholly adores her in every way. and there is mom who calls often, never too far away. and more: my dog bella, my friends, my colleagues, even my creative successes - all there for the taking, for the seeing, and with a deep deep understanding of how i fit in the mix - how i am the actual person living this incredible life and that it's entirely ok to let the abstractness go, hold this life really close, and to celebrate every ounce of it. and so i did celebrate last nite. with small gentle tears of wow, i live a very cool life of blessings. i'm pretty much a gratitude seeking girl, but this was as if i saw my tangible life with all its various components through a stranger's perspective - and it was a perspective that had me feeling incredibly lucky and deeply grateful in a fresh way i hadn't known before. our friends + family (and the spiritual universe) see us for exactly who we are. it's an absolute gift when we see it, too.
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