speaking of tears, i have never in my entire life felt so much emotion. high and low. all in the span of a single day, day after day. hormones, yes, but human heart 100%. i'm most tender in the mornings. although the tears are sometimes surprising and funny (like the time the waitress came to deliver the news that the biscuits and gravy i just ordered were no longer available), they also arrive the minute anyone asks how we're doing or gives me a hug or looks at me with understanding eyes or sends a sweet email or leaves a kind voicemail or when i think i can no longer operate on exhaustion. either way, i feel very in tune, very alive, and embracing the vulnerability of what it means to be so attached.
there was a moment when gina took True downstairs for a couple of hours so that john and i could get some rest upstairs. he was 6 days old and we had not once been separated from him. although she was just taking him downstairs, i bawled my eyes out as i watched her walk away. it was then that i knew i was attached, and cracked wide open to love and all that it is bringing to our new family.
i am growing. john and i are growing. we are learning and loving deep and wide. i'm surrendering to it in ways that leave me feeling more lifted up, more joyful than i've ever felt yet totally and utterly exhausted by the emotional and physical component, too. it's so strange, this territory, how it has me opened up to new love yet insanely terrified all at once. i suppose this is what happens when you realize how much you have to lose - again, brave in sadness, brave in love.
it feels like i've lived a whole entire lifetime in just 10 days. i'm so grateful for all of it. and 100% changed.
and did i mention how insanely adorable and cute True is? he is. oh yes indeed.
there was a moment when gina took True downstairs for a couple of hours so that john and i could get some rest upstairs. he was 6 days old and we had not once been separated from him. although she was just taking him downstairs, i bawled my eyes out as i watched her walk away. it was then that i knew i was attached, and cracked wide open to love and all that it is bringing to our new family.
i am growing. john and i are growing. we are learning and loving deep and wide. i'm surrendering to it in ways that leave me feeling more lifted up, more joyful than i've ever felt yet totally and utterly exhausted by the emotional and physical component, too. it's so strange, this territory, how it has me opened up to new love yet insanely terrified all at once. i suppose this is what happens when you realize how much you have to lose - again, brave in sadness, brave in love.
it feels like i've lived a whole entire lifetime in just 10 days. i'm so grateful for all of it. and 100% changed.
and did i mention how insanely adorable and cute True is? he is. oh yes indeed.
To me, art has been the unexpected discovery of finding my passion. When I finally put paint onto paper, my heart and life exploded with a joy I hadn’t known before.
