uncontained joy.

joy captured. me, taken by andrea scher, two summers ago.

every now and again they sneak in: you don't deserve this. you are asking for too much. one day soon, the good fortune shoe is going to drop.

these last couple of weeks I have felt the warmth and the excitement of all the really big things happening in our life. on top of it all (which seems to be happening all at once --> the move back to portland, our new house, the remodeling, the ecourse, the new agent/licensing gigs, etc), we are having a baby and that baby is moving these days. and i am more in love with my husband than ever before which didn't even feel possible.

i could almost explode with joy. if it weren't for those insistent gremlins, i wonder if i would explode with joy. i'm reminded of the idea of learning to trust the abundance, of leaning into (deeply) the experience of all of this, of recognizing that much of it is magic yet much of it is the combined efforts of hard work + perspective + choosing to celebrate + the universe showing us its grace and magic and spiritual gifts.

this is truly a time of blessings and i want to show up in gratitude for all of it. joy isn't meant to be contained, or over explained, or boxed in. i'm learning that right now as i try and give myself permission to sink into all the blessings without deflating them with the internal messages that creep in every now and again insisting that this isn't meant for me, that this life is someone else's, that it's all just pretend.

i'm also deeply aware of the ebb and flow of life. one day you are in the center of joy. and the next you are in center of despair. it's a tricky life. but i'll take it. all of it.

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speaking of joy, my pal andrea has been making a small batch of her famous superhero necklaces. get em' while you can as there is a limited supply for mother's day only. my fave? this one, of course! and worth every penny. i swear, i feel like a superhero when i wear her necklaces.

i haves so much to tell you, including info on ecourse coming right up!

(our new 1911 happy bungalow which is lovely but needs mountains of renovoations, especially on the inside. we love it so much.)

we have been in full on house renovation research mode over here. it's exhausting yet exciting and mind boggling as we consider contractors, subcontractors, kitchen/bath designs, appliances, and on an on. we fell in love with a particular designer/architect/contractor dude last week and if all goes well this week, he'll feel the same about us and the project can finally get started. we are keeping our fingers crossed.

in the meantime, i've been doing some blog hopping as i try and discover new home decor blogs for inspiration. man, it's a huge wide treasure trove out there. here are a few of my faves that i've discovered so far:

* decor8 - will always be a fave. i love the color palettes + talents that she features.

* the lettered cottage - the blog is full of inspiration and videos of home projects. their DIY kitchen is pretty amazing.

* sarah's house - my favorite show on hgtv, this woman's vision inspires me to no end. her befores and afters make me want to jump into the possibilities of restoration + design.

* heather bullard - loving the eye candy. wow.

* the daisy cottage - i'm in love with that happy yellow house. there's a ton of color in her home and i'm digging the cottage feel.

* the homemade home - this book is seriously full to the brim (every page!) of simple and easy ideas to make your home pop with creativity.

in creative biz news, there's a lot in the works over here. if all goes well, i'll be signing on with a reputable agent this week and possibly signing on for a couple exciting licensing deals. super exciting.

i'm also working with christine, my awesome website designer, on creating a logo. a logo!!! i can't wait to see how this shakes down. i'm learning so much, but it's become apparent that a logo is totally needed for packaging product for current/future licensing opportunities.

speaking of product, i've got new product coming out this summer. i can't wait to share it with you as it's all truly inventive, functional, giftable, and pretty darn cool if i say so myself. more soon!! and you guys, you will barely believe the goodies coming out in 2011. we are wrapping up the january release of product and i couldn't be more thrilled and excited. lots of big surprises...

(sneak peek of e-course announcement)

but best of all....this week...FINALLY...i am launching registration for my first on-line class. i've been working on this forever but had to delay the launch due to my being so sick that first trimester. but, now, now that my energy and inspiration have made a comeback, i'm so ready to get this thing off the ground. stay tuned...all the details of hows/whens/whats will be posted in the next day or two. with the timing of having a baby and renovating our home, this will likely be the ONLY online class i'll be able to offer this year so be sure to sign up if you're interested as it'll be a loonnnggg time until the next one is offered.

i'm so excited, i can hardly sit still. stay with me....more in the next day or so.

Weekly Sponsor Spotlights: Beth Quinn Designs, Unravelling E-Course, + One Inspired Life

Big thanks to my sponsors...I'm really enjoying these weekly sponsor spotlights where their creative talents and businesses are featured. If you are interested in becoming a sponsor (includes your ad on the sidebar + ongoing spotlights), please send me an email for further information!

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Jewelry artist Beth Quinn is "a mom of two wonderful little boys, married to my best friend, and an artist who loves to create anything from paper, fabric , wood ,paint and metal." Influenced by her late father's metal working and her grandmother's creativity, her jewelry is "full of her love for the old , worn and shiny ... she loves to combine texture to create jewelry that can be loved and cherished for years to come." Please head over to Beth's website where you can find her shop (Mother's Day is just around the corner!!) and her blog!

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The Unravelling e-courses are designed to help you heal the way you see your self and your world, using photography and journalling to access hidden thoughts and dreams, encouraging personal realisations and ultimately acceptance. Photographer & writer Susannah Conway is your guide through this process, sharing her insights and wisdom gleaned from a four-year voyage through grief and healing. The original Unravelling: Ways of Seeing My Self e-course takes you on a photo safari into your own life to reconnect with who you are, where you’ve been and where you want to go next… And the new course, Unravelling: Living in My World, takes you even further into your everyday life, delving into your beliefs, your personal stories and your gifts, all through the healing power of photography and community.

Registration for the summer Unravelling: Ways of Seeing My Self course opens on Saturday May 8th (class starts May 24th).

Give yourself permission to take a couple of hours out of your week to devote solely to YOU; this isn’t self-indulgence, this is nurturing, nourishing soul time - come join us!

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One Inspired Life is the creative outlet of Beth Wyatt, a decorative artist & painter living in Burlington, Ontario. Beth currently divides her time between upcycling furniture, taking pictures, and making fun accessories for her web-based business, Beth Made It. In her shop you'll find flower corsages to wear with your favorite white tee or little black dress, as well as hair clips in sweet spring colors! Beth's photo blog will keep you updated on her daily creative projects & adventures.

yes, yes, yes

the above is a quick video of author kelly corrigan who wrote The Middle Place, a book I devoured last year (so good!). i also love this other video that she made awhile back about women and strength (it's so, so good. get the tissues ready). the video above is about dreaming big, about that inner voice that challenges you to wonder who do you think you are, and it's about finding someone, anyone who will listen to that crazybuttotallypossible dream of yours.

this is totally happening.

here i am last week on my way to meet up with some old friends (16wks). it's grown a bit since this and man am i surprised by the popping out. it seemed to happen overnite. it's exhilarating. i haven't had to buy any maternity clothes yet except the bella band which is an awesome, awesome invention. my energy started to make an effort to come back around 15 weeks and now it's steady and strong and i can't tell you how happy this has made me - to not be so exhausted that functioning took serious effort. i can hardly believe we packed up our seattle house and moved to portland during those weeks. and my appetite. my appetite!! besides a serious aversion to meat, it's back. hallelujah. thank you, universe.

these days you can find me hanging out with john, lots of walking in the sunshine, reconnecting with old friends over meals, reading, a bit of work, and doing a ton of research on home renovation/design (getting bids, combing restoration warehouses, the works). i have zero space at the moment in our tiny furnished apt for creativity, but i think i've got a plan to set up a painting space next week inside a converted attic for awhile. now that i'm feeling better, i'm deeply craving some painting time. i've got a million ideas.

life has taken on a slow, steady pace. i think i got so used to letting most things go and slowing down during those first couple of months of feeling awful, that i've learned to adapt to that pace. and i'm liking it. a lot. even with all that we have going on, i feel evenly paced with a lot of downtime. of course, all of this may change the minute we close on the house we bought and start the renovations. but for now, i'm soaking it in. life is good.

ps - totally loving this display of the Kelly Rae products at Bradley's - a super cute gift shop in Knoxville. i hardly ever get to see the products out in the world so it's such a treat when photos like this come to my inbox - makes it feel more real. thank you Bradley's!!

finally, the girls are almost here.

(Odette and her girls, grace + lilian)

this vision and this dream for this family has been years in the making. many of you are aware of this dear family and helped contribute to the building of a new home for odette's mother in rwanda. remember that? we called it the house that love built. and that's exactly what it was.

Jen Lemen with Odette's daughters, Grace and Lilian, shot by Stephanie Roberts in Konombe, Rwanda

now, finally, after tremendous hurdles and efforts over the past many years, jen lemen is back in rwanda to finally (FINALLY) bring odette's girls to the US to be reunited as a family forever. visas have been issued. hearts have been widened. and the girls are this close to boarding a plane with jen to their new home here with their momma. it's been years since odette has seen her girls. can you imagine? stephanie roberts has a beautiful entry today over on shutter sisters sharing parts of this incredible story and more details.

please, please consider heading over here to read jen's latest update from rwanda/uganda. and please, if you are able, consider chipping in whatever you can to help get these girls home.

lots of goodness.

dear friends,

i wanted to let you know that i've updated the shop with several goodies that have been on backorder for quite a bit of time. mother's day is coming up (may 9th!) and i'm all about offering up small, affordable pieces of art to those we love. and that's what i've updated the shop with: small, affordable, and lots of love. here's what i've got...(!!)

it's been a long while since i've had these popular necklaces in stock and i'm so happy to report they are back! they're glass pendants, with art on each side, and super affordable. here are a few of my faves specifically for the mommas in our lives (sisters, mommas, daughters, dear friends):

and here are a few of my favorite sentiment necklaces. they're square, chucky, and delightful (with artwork on the back as well). oh yes, and all necklaces arrive ready to gift inside a sweet little gift pouch:

head on over to the shop where you'll find many more necklaces. i just adore these. really, truly.

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i'm not sure if i've ever shown you the magnets on the blog!! what i love about these chunky magnets is that they also look great placed on a small easel (see image above) - like a lovely little piece of art, perfect for gift giving to all the art lovers in our lives. and super duper affordable. i'm running low on these but i still have quite a selection to choose from. love, love these...

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i'm a big fan of these notepads, especially this one to record our wishes, this one to record our hopes, this one to record our love adventures, this one to record our blessings, and the rest of them to remind us, even when we're writing our grocery lists and our to-do lists, that we are indeed brave, lovely, and full of possibility. again, a great affordable gift for ourselves or for those we hold close.

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i've also added a few more canvases to the shop, including many of the previously sold out smaller 6x6 canvases. totally love how these freshen up small spaces like our desks and work spaces. also love, love, love them when they're paired together and collected. all arrive ready to hang. and, don't forget the inspiration ribbon for all of your mother's day gift wrapping!

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so, that's the shop update. i don't expect to have any more items to add before the end of april. the decorative art girlies are totally out of stock and are on backorder until summer (i know, i know!). thanks, everyone! i hope you find a little something either for yourself or for someone special. one more thing---> don't forget about matted prints. these arrive signed, matted, and ready to frame. my current faves are brave girl, open heart, and journey of hearts (also on the cover of the latest Somerset Stuidos magazine!)

xxo,

kelly rae

lately..

i am seriously loving my camerabag iphone app. for reals. the hipstamatic is a close 2nd:)

we are slowly falling into portland life. i've been meeting + making plans with old friends which has been an absolute dream. i even ran into hula at a local cafe. i can't remember the last time i ran into somebody i know - it's part of what makes a city feel like home. love it.

the last couple of days have brought sunshine and warmth and lots and lots of walking around in the neighborhood. i'm already stalking garden ideas, new window ideas, house painting ideas, and on and on. i've also bought several home renovation/decor magazine for inspiration and ideas. i'm seriously loving all the better homes and garden specialty magazines like do it yourself, real rooms, additions, etc - the ones you find at home depot. and of course, decor8 (i could live inside that blog). so ready to get this party started on our new home.

lately:

* totally inspired by vivienne. i've had the opportunity to spend some time with her and she's as vibrant in person as she is on the web. i adore her sense of style, her vulnerable writing, and her photos. omg, her photos!!!!

* also inspired by mindy + the wish studio. the new wish studio site launched today!!! it's a gorgeous site (designed by christine of darling design who also designed my website) and chock full of all sorts of inspiration. i'm delighted to be featured in the wish studio's online gallery this week where i share the inspiration behind a few recent paintings. big congrats to mindy as she launches this dream!

* totally loving reading! without cable, dvr, and dvds, i've been reading. i'm totally engrossed in The Help at the moment. man, is that a good book.

* speaking of good, Date Night is a good, funny movie. it's been awhile since a movie made me laugh (it takes a lot to make me laugh out loud at movies and tv).

* been adjusting to using a bella band so that i can extend my current wardrobe. i so love that thing. who knew? speaking of preggers, my energy is making a comeback. slowly but surely. my appetite is making a comeback, too. which makes me very very happy. prenatal yoga and swimming are doing me good, too.

* i've been making a ton of mistakes. i suppose between moving chaos and pregnancy mush brain, it's to be expected. this was the scenario the other day that pretty much wraps up my absent mindedness: ME (frantic): john, john, i can't find my iphone!!! JOHN (exhausted by me): um, kelly, you are talking on it. ME (surrended): oh. it's that bad, isn't it? JOHN: yep, it is, babe.

more soon. big news coming tomorrow.

Weekly Sponsor Spotlights: Barefoot Works, Happiness Inside, Hazelnut Cottage, + Life In General

I'd like to offer a warm welcome to the following new sponsors....

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Sharon Tessandori is the happy yoga instructor/owner of Barefoot Works, a thriving yoga studio that also offers yoga retreats (both for students and teacher training). She asks, "Is this your time to come alive, change your life, and help heal the planet? Join me for a two week intensive yoga teacher training in beautiful Tulum, Mexico and begin awakening your soul. Imagine a lifestyle where you get to teach the passion you feel for yoga. People show up to the mat tired and stressed. You share your unique voice and teaching gift. At the end of class they roll up their mat with a spacious body and mind, connected on a soul level. And they pay you for it! People all over the world continue to wake up to the benefits of yoga and meditation. We continue to see the value of yoga represented in news print, magazines, local and national television shows. We’re all searching for something and someone to help remind us of who we truly are. I really, really believe that the “something” is yoga. And perhaps that “someone” is you?

"Not ready to train to be a teacher but want to escape to paradise and learn more about yoga? We also offer a weeklong retreat in Mexico! Click here to learn all the details!"

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Happiness Inside is a free social networking site with a focus on Happiness and Positivity. Our members from all over the world provide each other with tools and resources, support and friendship in order to learn how to be happier NOW! Everyone can use a little more happiness. Join us today at Happiness Inside and explore why we're doing it, our forums, our everyday tools, and so much more (including our new HAPI decals!) Check us out on twitter, too!

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Jan, the artist behind the the popular Hazelnut Cottage etsy shop, says "Hazelnut Cottage is my happy place where I create a line of handstamped silver jewelry and as courage allows, other works of art. Customers come back time and again to see what’s new with Hazelnut Cottage’s Mommy & Baby, Ocean Inspired and Love & Friendship offerings. Make a purchase and receive a free gift, exclusively for Kelly Rae Roberts readers! Simply enter "Kelly Rae" in the 'message to seller' box during your etsy transaction to redeem this offer (good thru 5/15/10. Yum!" Check out Hazelnut Cottage's blog, too!

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Artist Sherri says, "My name is Sherri Pekks and I am a Mom, Wife, Woman and Friend all wrapped up in one body and mind. I try to find humor and honesty in everyday experiences. Painting is like a form of therapy to help me deal with this crazy world and Life in General." Learn more about Sherri and her work by visiting her etsy shop where she offers original paintings and cards. You can also follow her on her facebook fan page.

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If you're interested in sponsoring (includes ad on sidebar + spotlight blog posts), please shoot me an email at kellyraeroberts[at]gmail[dot]com and I'll send over the details. Thank you!

today

today we are celebrating 11 years of togetherness. as with all unions, we've learned so much, grown so much, and have traveled deep and wide to this place of commitment and friendship. sometimes it takes a lot of work. sometimes it feels so easy. at the end of the day, i still feel like the luckiest girl on the planet. i really really do. there is a brandi carlile lyric that makes my cry each time i hear it because it makes me remember the simplicity of what love grows: "As long as the day is full of time, there will always be room for your hand in mine."

today is also a very very good day because the offer we put on the house we really wanted was accepted (finally!). we won't be moving in any time soon as there are some pretty serious renovations to do, but i'm so excited about this project and will share photos with you along the way!

ps-the lyric is from brandi's song, fall apart again. her music really gets me, especially this extremely tender song called that year (get the tissues ready).

pps-earlier today this was the scene: ME: john, oh no, where is my phone?!?! JOHN: um, you're talking on it!! so there you have it. i have serious mush brain going on over here.

it's about capacity + connection

i have found so much support online. and i truly believe that if i wasn't encouraged in this space in the early years when i first discovered art, that i wouldn't have pushed myself to keep going to see where this creative wave could take me. and of course this wave has been steady, surprising, and the thrill of lifetime. i will never forget these last many years. never. i have so many people to thank for holding me afloat, for encouraging me to say yes, to say no when needed, to speak my truth all along the way. there have been many decisions on the back end and for the most part, i'm really proud of the choices i've made these last few years, even when big mistakes were made.

one of my biggest lessons in all of it has been to surround myself with people who haven't been afraid to celebrate with me, who have allowed me to be a big as i can be without judgement, without competition, without questions. i'm not talking "big" in a commercial success way, but big in a you can totally create a great life for yourself way and you actually deserve that life way and you can trust your capacity and expansiveness way and most importantly, you can totally answer to love way. because, in the end, it's not the commercial success that matters, it's that my soul pieces are in good working order. that's the kind of big i can invite into my life. i can't tell you how this one lesson has broadened not only my sense of self, spirituality, but also my sense of community.

my saddest moments as i made my way into success have been when i felt deflated by those i thought wanted the best for me, by those who didn't have the capacity to truly celebrate with me, by those, who for whatever reasons, felt triggered by my happiness. the hard truth is that i've been there. i've been that person, who for a variety of reasons, didn't have the ability to celebrate with my friends when they called to share big news (they bought a house! they were pregnant! they just landed the best job in the world!). i was really really good at listening and counseling when someone needed me to comfort them, but i failed miserably when someone needed me to celebrate with them, to stand in that big space with them, to give them permission to keeping pushing the boundaries of their horizon. now that i'm on the other side of that dynamic, i can see so clearly why i failed in those moments. it was because i didn't have the faith that i would one day find myself in a better situation. it was because i felt stuck. because i felt jealous. because i was being totally self consumed and selfish.

what i didn't know then but that i certainly know now is this: had i just leaned into the celebration with them, had i just allowed myself to be in those moments of bigness with them, then i would have not only been the receiver of so much joy, but i would have invited that same energy into my own life and i would have caught a glimpse of what could be possible for my own life. and most importantly, i would have connected more to those precious friends in my life who so deeply wanted to be seen and honored.

hindsight is 20/20. i've learned so much on this creative journey. i wouldn't trade it for the world. it's doesn't have to be about competition. or jealousy. or inadequacy. it's about expanding our capacities to include connection at every turn and it's about practicing what it means to be brave in love. we are all meant to be big.

my all time fave quote

"listen to your life. see if for the fathomless mystery that it is. touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace." buechner

an update....

it's been a whirlwind over here. i'm happy to report we have landed in portland. finally. most of everything we own is in a storage unit and we've settled into a little furnished one bedroom apt until we can move into something more permanent - hopefully a house that we buy! we did fall in love with a charming yellow bungalow in a great location and we're waiting to hear if our offer is accepted. we're hopeful. it's small, but really ties into our dream of simple living and it'd be perfect for us and a little one. oh yes, and it's a fixer upper. every single surface needs to be touched and redone, including kitchen, bathrooms, floors, and all the walls that have mounds of painted wallpaper (who paints over wallpaper, i ask?). we've never remodeled a home before but why not add that to the list of big changes (a move, new job for john, first child)?? we are known for our adventuresome ways and i suppose you can't control which house you fall in love with. we really hope we get it.

i'm on the hunt for a large studio/office space in NE/SE portland so if you hear anything, please let me know! i'm eager to get painting. in the meantime, i'm operating business out of a tiny corner of this apt. it's hilarious. once i have an official space, i'll be on the hunt for a studio assistant (details soon). so many details to work out. i'm trying very hard to pace myself and nurture along the way.

the weather is so dreary in portland - matching my exhaustion perfectly. i seriously can't wait for this prego fatigue to lift! speaking of preggers, i posted a belly shot on facebook last week. it's bumping out quite a bit which is seriously crazy fun. here's the shot over on flickr.

ps- shop update: tomorrow, i am sending out orders that were placed last week (thanks so much for your patience). i'm out of stock on many items and close to out of stock on many more (especially the canvases). i've ordered more inventory but there are long waits due to backorders at the moment so if there are things you'd like to get either for yourself or loved ones (mother's day is fast approaching), i'd get them now. i can't promise that i'll have more in time for mother's day but there are several canvases, matted prints, magnets (my fave), and notepads available right now! and don't forget the amazing ribbon to wrap up your gifts!

pps - please keep my grandma in your thoughts as she's had a stroke. she going to okay but there is quite a recovery road ahead of her. i hate that i can't be there to help my mom in supporting her. it's times like these that living so far away it the pits. i truly believe in the collective, so please keep her in your prayers/thoughts/wishes. it would mean a lot.

more soon. lots to share...