some thoughts on love, mothering

sitting here, this eve of my first mother's day. i'm thinking about baby true and how i hope our journey together here on earth is long and joyful. thinking about a dear friend who recently lost her mom and how this particular weekend must be so, so hard for her. i'm thinking about the wonderful documentary i saw recently called babies, a film about all the different ways we mamas from all over the world care for our babies with the same exact language: the language of unparalleled love. i'm thinking about my own story of how fortunate i've been to be mothered my whole life by not just my own mother, but by the nurturing hearts of my friends, my mentors, my teachers. we are all mothers when we tend to the hearts of others. i'm thinking of my dear mom and how i can barely wait for her to move to portland this summer so that i can see her happy face as often as i'd like.

i'm thinking about how my own journey into motherhood has changed everything. how my heart is broken open and how that will always be. i know now how deeply my mother must love me simply because of how achingly i love my own child. in so many absolute unexpected ways motherhood has helped me feel connected to how deeply loved i am. and that very connection opens me up to love and nurture and mother those in my own life in new ways. you know how they say you have to love yourself first in order to love others? i believe you also have to feel (receive) how deeply loved you are in order to love (give) others with your whole heart. and that's one monumental thing that motherhood has awakened in me - that feeling of not just knowing but rather connecting with my whole heart how deeply i have been loved my whole life by my own family. that's what mothers and motherhood does. it's powerful and it changes everything.

to my own mom and to everyone who has ever nurtured another, happy mother's day. you are so so special and as what my friend katherine says in this video that i keep coming back to over and over: what you do matters.