Big truth. Parenthood, like any other big transition in life (marriage, separation, moves, etc), throws you into major opportunity to grow into new versions of yourself and into new versions of partnership and marriage. They aren't kidding when they say it's life changing. I think it's self changing. Marriage changing. All the changing isn't easy, but there is wholeness and healing at every turn.
Two years into our parenthood journey, the dust is starting to settle so to speak. We are fully adjusted to our new life (both our child's and ours), comfortable being parents and no longer feel so acutely raw or new to this extraordinary experience. And of course, we're totally in love with True (seriously, friends, we can't get enough). But as all of the dust settles, we're finding the pieces just don't fit together the way they used to in the marriage puzzle, the self puzzle, the community puzzle. The pieces have changed. And so have we. Our edges are in some cases, more sharp, and in others, more soft. In some cases where there used to be tenderness there is anger. Where there used to be anger is now tenderness. The triggers are different. The lessons are different.
Totally new landscape of a life. Totally new puzzle. In the end, we are bravely and tenderly creating our new marriage puzzle. Hard work. Meaningful work. Important, self changing work. And I'm grateful how parenthood has given us this extraordinary opportunity to go deeper, and expand and tug and pull and brave it out. We're all in.
“We're all just walking each other home.” - Ram Dass
I was talking the other day with a friend who is going through a hard (but amicable) separation. I was telling her about all the things I'm learning in my marriage and she was telling me all the things she is learning in her separation. I was surprised that we are learning the same thing: that the people we choose to live significant parts of our lives with are the exact people that can help us heal something in ourselves - old wounds, new wounds, all of it. In this sense, we really are just walking each other home. Home as in healing. Home as in the best versions of ourselves. Home as in wholeness. Home as in our divinity.
In this stage of my life where parenthood seems to be changing everything, I'm so thankful for it's blessings and lessons as it moves all of us forward along the path of learning. Of healing. Of lovingly tumbling, stumbling, grasping, reaching.....toward home.
It's a blessed life.