taking flight into art, love, and life (the blog)

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

We're all just walking each other home.


(available here)

Big truth. Parenthood, like any other big transition in life (marriage, separation, moves, etc), throws you into major opportunity to grow into new versions of yourself and into new versions of partnership and marriage.  They aren't kidding when they say it's life changing. I think it's self changing. Marriage changing. All the changing isn't easy, but there is wholeness and healing at every turn.

Two years into our parenthood journey, the dust is starting to settle so to speak. We are fully adjusted to our new life (both our child's and ours), comfortable being parents and no longer feel so acutely raw or new to this extraordinary experience. And of course, we're totally in love with True (seriously, friends, we can't get enough). But as all of the dust settles, we're finding the pieces just don't fit together the way they used to in the marriage puzzle, the self puzzle, the community puzzle. The pieces have changed. And so have we. Our edges are in some cases, more sharp, and in others, more soft. In some cases where there used to be tenderness there is anger. Where there used to be anger is now tenderness. The triggers are different. The lessons are different. 

Totally new landscape of a life. Totally new puzzle. In the end, we are bravely and tenderly creating our new marriage puzzle. Hard work. Meaningful work. Important, self changing work. And I'm grateful how parenthood has given us this extraordinary opportunity to go deeper, and expand and tug and pull and brave it out. We're all in. 


“We're all just walking each other home.” - Ram Dass


I was talking the other day with a friend who is going through a hard (but amicable) separation. I was telling her about all the things I'm learning in my marriage and she was telling me all the things she is learning in her separation. I was surprised that we are learning the same thing: that the people we choose to live significant parts of our lives with are the exact people that can help us heal something in ourselves - old wounds, new wounds, all of it. In this sense, we really are just walking each other home. Home as in healing. Home as in the best versions of ourselves. Home as in wholeness. Home as in our divinity

It has occurred to me that not only are John and I walking each other home. We are walking True home. And he is walking us home. We're all just walking each other home. 

In this stage of my life where parenthood seems to be changing everything, I'm so thankful for it's blessings and lessons as it moves all of us forward along the path of learning. Of healing. Of lovingly tumbling, stumbling, grasping, reaching.....toward home. 

It's a blessed life. 


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16 comments:

sarah said...

beautiful, just beautiful.

Franchesca said...

This is so beautiful, and so true. That quote speaks volumes. I feel the same way - two years into parenthood I feel the dust settling as well. Almost like I trust myself a little more than I used to, more than I ever dreamed - to care for this incredible little person.

thank you for the post.

Shelly Penko said...

So beautiful, and touches me so deeply...it made me cry. Truth sometimes does that to me. ♥

Steph said...

Wow, yes!

Hannah said...

A thousand yeses. A thousand thank yous. A thousand steps, and counting. xo

Adrienne said...

Lovely thought!

honeydropstudio said...

I love the way your mind works! You truly have such a great perspective on things. It makes the hardest things seem so beautiful....thank you!

Lori Bowring Michaud said...

Oh so very true Kelly Rae. We lost our oldest child 8 1/2 years ago. He did not have an easy life - a plate overflowing with emotional/learning issues. We always thought we were teaching him, after his death we realized how many lessons he taught each of us about ourselves.

Bless you that you've learned, and embraced this lesson early.

TwynMawrMom said...

hmmm.

Alberta Art Classes said...

So sweet. It is a gentle way of treating all of our relationships, isn't it?

blepper said...

I agree that you have a phenomenal perspective....but I would also remark that it is a profound insight and thank you for sharing. I am 60 years old and have grown so much in my relationship with my husband in the past 36 years. As an empty nester I see out relationship as now returning to full circle. We are in the process of losing weight and moving to a more healthy life style. Our goal is 50 lbs each. We are 7 weeks into this challenge and have lost almost 1/3 of the weight. I feel that going through this challenge has renewed and energized our relationship.

Kelly, the more that I read your blogs, I feel that you have an "old soul" and wise outlook on life.

I hope someday I have the opportunity to meet you when I visit my family in Portland.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful enlightening words. Thank you as always amazing woman!

Amy Huff said...

Love that phrase and it's such a beautiful way to look at life. We have an 8 month old and struggled for years to conceive so she makes every day a blessing and a joy. Even those really, really hard days with fussiness and exhaustion. I try to take few breaths and be grateful for her and my husband.

keishua said...

beautiful post. thank you.

Joyelle @ An Artful Endeavor said...

You have expressed so eloquently the thoughts that I have had since becoming a parent five years ago. I feel like my self and my marriage was torn apart and put back together in a whole different pattern. Parenthood has been the greatest opportunity for growth of my life, and the greatest challenge.

Iara said...

you are so right Kelly! being through three births and having three little ones around has made the rebuilding ourselfs and our marriage an everyday adventure here. but I can't imagine life being other way. we are so blessed.





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